So I'll be back, yes. First, I need to have an internet connection. Second, I need to increase my page rank again :D, so, I'm going to run a contest very soon :) Cash is the prize baby! Watch out for it :D
Today I leave you with rants, lol
I wrote this entry few months ago but decided not to post it because it’s too upfront, too not-me in person when I talk. I’m feeling mad angry at the moment so I want to speak out. But I really tried my best to hold back.
This issue was tackled again very recently. I got humiliated somehow and thought why not get bitchy here if I really can’t in person with this particular person and other people who love minding other’s businesses?
Once and for all, I really want to explain my side about this subject because it’s f*cking tiring to repeat my answers especially when people doubt me anyway. I’m sick of this. Next time I’m confronted? I would just direct them to this blog entry.
Nonetheless, I don’t know if this happens to other races with foreigner partners. But lo and behold, here in the Philippines, people got this common mentality when you’re around with a foreigner boyfriend. Which is wrong most of time in my case. But I am talking not just for myself but also for those who’s in my situation too.
So here are some of the misconceptions I’ve observed so far that most Filipino think when you got a foreigner partner;
1. You have lots of money; you have a monthly allowance for your vanity and shopping. You always have the latest gadget in town and you’re not a one-cell phone-woman. In short, you’re a gold-digger.
2. Your boyfriend is twice older than you like 10-30 years. They’re either divorced, with children or never been married.
3. Either one of you is unattractive.
4. You have another boyfriend (most likely a Pinoy who’s okay with your state of affair) other than your foreigner bf.
5. You’re going to marry him at the soonest possible time because it’s your easiest passport abroad. You find a way to leave him once you get overseas and find another richer man. Or if you fall under case #4, you would go back to PH and get back to your Pinoy bf’s arms.
Now here are my answers to that.
1. I love to use my own money. It feels so good to taste the fruit of my labor and savings. And to speak as a jobless person, I have other resourceful ways of finding money. I am not one of the contemporary vanity people and I’m not shopaholic. My only narcissistic side I think is when I joined those social networking sites like facebook and post hundreds of photos of me that I’m not even sure who views. If I’m given the money, it depends why I should accept it. I’d ask if I really need it or if I really want something so bad. But not to a point of abusing my man and hollow out cash from his pocket until he gets flat broke.
2. My current boyfriend is few months younger than me. I know its quiet rampant nowadays that Pinays got older foreigner bfs but I’m not one of them. I’m not swollen with pride though. In fact, when people find out the truth, they ask me why not get an older, richer man. I see in their faces that they’re serious about their proposition of me getting a man in a wheelchair. And if truth be told, I also had an ex who was twice my age and it has no difference even if he’s not a foreigner. But in due course, I realized an important thing. I know if I got one now, he would just be a father figure to me. Now that’s my reason. So of course, those Pinays got their reasons too. Whether they’re up for the money to save them from the shooting pain of poverty or to have a father they never had, that’s their life business. And hey, when it comes to love, age doesn’t matter! Unless you grow backwards, only sensible people know what I mean.
3. That’s bullshit. I don’t believe that I am nor my bf is unattractive. But it is not why I think its bullshit. But because I hate it when people look at pairs (even someone who got non-foreigner partner) like the girl or the guy is a piece of sh*t arming along with a Hollywood star. I am not insecure, but I feel so offended for them and for my own. It’s like they’re saying that before you jump into a relationship, you have to weigh yourselves in a special measuring device to make sure that both of your physical attractiveness is in the same level. No defects or any little disparity. Goes the same way with your mental and emotional aspects. I can’t provoke myself yet to change my native-ness into something that would blend me into his kind. I would have not been called exotic if I did. Yes, that’s my boastfulness speaking. This is my blog and I have all my bragging rights. So now this is what I think, those people who ignorantly think like that--only got an ordinary taste. And before I forget, love is love no matter whom you’re with!
4. That’s the very insulting remark I have ever heard. I know some people who do that but I won’t name names. Let me tell you a story. I had a girlfriend who was shot in the head by her Pinoy bf who’s also my friend in a dorm where I used to stay in college. He found out that she cheated on him and was about to marry a foreigner. He committed suicide a day after. I also know someone who got a Pinoy bf and knows about her affair with a foreigner. It’s obvious that they’re doing it for monkey-money-business. A survey said that more women are actually cheating these days than men. But I’ve been there, been hurt, been cheated, and been guilty of my innocence. I don’t see anything fruitful about taking revenge by trying it. I think it’s pointless to stay in a relationship when one wants their heart shared with others whether they’re serious or just want to play games. Like he/she wants to know if they’re still attractive to others or whatever. I don’t want to lose my bf’s trust I have earned. Those who cheat are those who don’t have self-control, discipline, and only wants to prove that they’re capable of hurting. I always like to think that love should be seen as a religion, to be faithful and truthful. Especially with my kind of relationship. Like God, love is vague that some sort of ritual is needed to make it substantial and real. Well, I guess this piece is not only for me but for all lovers in the world.
5. If this relationship would end up in marriage then good. If both of us believe in marriage then better. Else, what’s the point of continuing? But I am not going to make that a reason to go easily abroad. In fact, at one point in my life, I said I wouldn’t want to live in America. But I was caught in a situation where my only escape is goodbye. But I also want to stay, be real, and face the desire of wanting to be with him hell no one knows until when. I don’t know what’s ahead of us, but I’m sure it could only be right or left. Though, I won’t leave him for a richer man for god’s sake. I am actually laughing now for that thought because I really think that’s funny. If I wanted a rich old man, why didn’t I keep looking in the first place? And still invest in this relationship where I’d only get either revenue or love-nomic failure?
I’m feeling better now. I only want to get my point across to defend myself against nothing. Nothing? Lol. Plus, even if they get my true answers at the very moment I told them, they wouldn’t believe. Else, they cackle and intensely say ‘ooowwwsss’… And they’d ask me to find a foreigner for them or their daughters. Duh?! Even when they know what I say is true, they only see what they want to see. Their belief is only a reflection of their true selves.
I'm not angry anymore, probably just mad crazy, lol.
But I really wish that this Filipino mentality would drop off.
